hmmmmmmmm!!
so i am sittin on the back deck of the vision of the seas en route to alaska. it's about 10 pm out side and the day's still not quite gone. dusk at best. the mountains, saturating the horizon in the distance, are all surrounded by clouds. the sound of the ocean banging against this submersed vessel in the frigid water is all i need to think. as the jack daniels burns the back of my throat barreling its way to my stomach, i feel...warm, even though the temperature out here is about 55 degrees.
damn, this jack is kicking my ass. its making me think. i think this is the sip of my drink where it makes me examine all in front of me and all behind me. all the mistakes i've made. all i've done right. making me wonder weather i am in the right place. weather i am Dion the right thing. its making me grateful and scared as hell all at the same time. I'm thinking heavily about my future but not really worried about it. thinking that i am not nearly where i need to be. trying to devise a solution.
maybe this jack can give me the answers to the questions that plague me. what is the next job? how am i gonna help my family if I'm always sooo far away? how am i gonna give much needed life advice to my sister? debate conspiracy theories with my brothers? listen to anecdotes about cell phones attacking my dad in the front yard? be a role model to my nephew and niece. advise my friends on the latest in love, fashion, and...............
the longer i write, the more work jack is putting in on my behalf. hopefully by the end of the night, maybe... just maybe jack, this time, will have said something i need to hear.
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